I like big bibles and I cannot lie

Tue 6 Nov, 2007 at 6:16 pm 10 comments

I was talking to someone on Monday morning who still hasn’t watched this….

They now have a “rock” remix of the hip hop version…

The lyrics are printed here if you want to sing along!

Oh my goodness, Becky, look at her Bible
It is so big
She looks like one of those preacher guys girlfriends
But…you know…Who understands those preacher boys
They only talk to her because she looks like Mother Teresa, ok?
I mean her Bible…it’s just so big
I can’t believe it’s so huge
Uggh! It gross!
Look, she’s just so…righteous

Verse 1
I like big Bibles and I can not lie
You Christian brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with a KJV
And a book mark in Proverbs
You get stoked
Got her name engraved
So you know that girl is saved
It looks like one of those large ones
With plenty o’ space in the margins
Oh baby, I wanna read witcha
Cause your Bible’s got pictures
My minister tried to console me
But that Book you got makes (“M-m-me so holy”)
Ooh, momma-mia
You say you want koinonia
Well, bless me, bless me
And teach me about John Wesley

I saw her prayingWhile I was DJing
She got grace…pretty face
She ain’t goin’ down to the bad place

I’m tired of heathen guys
Sayin’ they like pocket-size
Ask the average Christian to take a look
She’s gotta pack much Book

So…Fellas (Yeah), fellas (Yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the Book (Oh yeah!)
Well, read it (Read it!), read it (Read it!), read that Holy Book
Baby got Book

(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)
Baby got Book
(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)

Verse 2
I like ’em leather and bound
It’s 50 pounds
I just can’t understand
How it is, some weenie
Wants the Bible on CD
She wanna get you saved
Amen! Double up! A-men!

I ain’t talkin’ about a paraphrase
Cuz Paul wouldn’t use those anyways
like ’em real thick and red-letteredYou can’t find nothin’ betterSouthpaw’s in love
Bibles that big are unheard of

So I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ “What if…
I find me a girl that shows midriff?”
You can have those bimbos
I’ll keep those chick that do devos
A word to the Christian sistas
I can’t resist yaI’ll do God’s time witcha
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna pray
Til the break of day
Baby, got it goin’ on
Like the wife in Pro-verbs 31

We just might get engaged
When we finish reading this page
Cuz it’s worn and it’s torn
And I know this girl’s reborn

So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah)
Do you wanna save people from Hades (yeah) Then read it…’til the pages fall out
Even white preachers got to shout
Baby got Book

(Thompson Chain with big red letters)
Baby got Book

Yeah baby
When it comes to a good book
Stephen King’s resume just can’t compare
39 + 27 = 66 books
And if you’re Catholic…there’s even more

So your girlfriend quotes Bill Hybels
But does she got a big Bible?
Cuz that little things she’s got won’t start a revival
My Bible study don’t want none,Unless you got Book, Hon

…You can read Clancy or Grisham
But please don’t loose this Book

Some brothers wanna play that hard hard role
And tell you that Book’s too old
So they toss it and burn it
And I pull up quick to just learn it
So your girl likes paperback? Well I ain’t down with that
Cuz my girlfriend’s hot her Bible’s rockin’
And she’s got good doctrine
To the atheist chicks who try to dis
You ain’t it Miss Priss
Give me a Christian, I’m insistin’
And I’ll greet her with some holy kissin’
Some pervert tried to chase But he didn’t make it past first base
She’s quick to resist temptation
And she loves a new translation
So ladies who were lost and found
If you want the triple-six thrown down
Dial 1-800-reads-a-lot
And teach me about those Psalms
Baby got Book

(NIV with a ribbon bookmark)
Baby got Book
(Thompson Chain with big red letters)

Bible college knowledge but she still got Book (4 Xs) 

I love that song – favourite line has to be “66 books and if youre Catholic there are even more”

I did some digging on “DJ Southpaw” and I see he is the lead minister of a church in Ohio. He calls his church Momentum – the church for people who hate going to church. They have their sermons on itunes. Take a look at the sermon titles! they have just finished a great Halloween series. I have downloaded them to my ipod but haven’t listened yet, I am looking forward to the sermons on “what vampires have to teach us!” I assume it is that the blood is important!

Well enjoy! I am off to read my NIV with the big red letters or maybe the message might be more in line with momentum


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

A Birthday Message So what are we up to?

10 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Shannon Endicott  |  Tue 6 Nov, 2007 at 7:03 pm

    I had never seen that I just watched the whole thing…pretty funny stuff. 🙂

  • 2. Latifah Farmers  |  Mon 31 Mar, 2008 at 4:01 pm

    oH YEAh! tHSI is great and soo true! Who says you cant praise the Lord and boogy down @ the same time! lol

  • 3. Brook Black  |  Mon 14 Apr, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    i like this song so much funny.lol

  • 4. elly  |  Mon 6 Oct, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    lol. nice version of the song…haha

  • 5. elly  |  Mon 6 Oct, 2008 at 5:14 pm

    funni sumthin im allowed 2 sing yay

  • 6. Ariel Buchanan-Gilbert  |  Fri 21 Nov, 2008 at 9:40 am

    This rap is so funni but I like it cause I am into god so keep the good work up.

  • 7. None ya!!!!!!!!  |  Fri 20 Mar, 2009 at 7:53 pm

    Haha!!!!! love your bff

  • 8. Theresa  |  Sat 11 Apr, 2009 at 10:18 am

    lol, this song is hilarious XD

  • 9. Gregory Williams  |  Thu 13 Jan, 2011 at 11:39 pm

    Bibliolatrous herecy if you ask me…but funny nonetheless.

  • 10. mouse  |  Fri 24 Oct, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    i like big butts!


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